Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
