I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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