I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it was like eating out sand paper
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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