I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
