i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
