Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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