And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
