glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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