your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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