i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
