My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
