If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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