can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
