Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
