i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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