Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
