Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
smell my finger.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
