Your tits are I can't wait for
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Pants are for mortals
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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