As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
