we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
