"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
