Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
