we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
