apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You made out with two different species that night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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