I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
