Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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