I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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