i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He passed out mid-signature
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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