I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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