THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
