Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
