I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
