Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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