I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
