I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
