I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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