I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I touched a dick in church today
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
