I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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