No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
