Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
