I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You need a sexual gate keeper
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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