I think im going to throw up on grandma
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
