Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
