just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
