so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
