I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
