Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
