if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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