Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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