Non-Jews are for practice
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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