Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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