I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
