forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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