I wanna bring you to show and tell
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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