it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
