sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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