guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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