So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
