I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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